Strawberry shortcake
by Straw Heart
Summary: Cause you know, she wants her cake and eat it too.


Just letting you know, this is weird. That's all I'll say.

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**Disclaimer**: neither Fairy Tail or the song Cake by the Ocean belongs to me.

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_I want the cake and eat it too._

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Erza's relationship with Mirajane had always been… complicated. Troublesome, violent, intense are other adjectives that could describe it as well.

The moment their eyes met, they found themselves competing with each other, and in more ways than physical. Like beta fishes, some may say.

Side effects of being an alpha, Erza always says with a shrug. Neither she or Mirajane care for it anymore. There's a sort of understanding between them, too. The kind of knowledge you can only share with someone that has to deal with the same shit than you, with a similar background and similar obligations –protect their kids.

(Cause no matter what Gray or Natsu like to claim, they were her kids. She taught them to read, write, even to eat properly, goddammit!).

Things changed after Lissana's "death". Losing a loved one, especially someone as important to Mirajane as her little sister was, can change a person in indescribable ways. It destroys you, makes a crack in your core and shatters your beliefs. Grief is awful like that.

But at the end, they still knew the other. So during this time Erza's and Mirajane's relationship improved a lot, the redhead being the one of the few that was able to draw a little bit of Mirajane's old self. And now, with no fights, they even became friends (not Lucy-Erza friend's, more like alpha-alpha buddies in a truce. Like, instead of share the same pair of traveling pants, as Lucy and Erza may do, they would go to the maker and force them, _by strength_, to make each a pair of pants that looked the same –color, size– but was tailor made to each one).

With Lissana's return and Mirajane's personality improved to the best of her former self and the present one, and their friendship improved even more. It was as if it had matured with their better selves, something real and joyful.

Still, Erza doesn't trust Mirajane as far as she can throw her (this applied to everywhere except the battlefield) unless it's a matter of food.

Mirajane's a _goddess_ in the kitchen, and everyone knows it. Anything Mirajane touches becomes a delicatessen. She can totally defeat any top chef any day, both in the kitchen or in an hexagon. And she has, both, but that's another story.

So when Mirajane suggested her to order her birthday cake from this amazing pastry shop, Erza agreed without questioning. Mira knows her food.

The pastry shop was heaven on earth for Erza. Amazing food, amazing smell, amazing variety of cakes.

She may have cried a little.

In a moment of craziness, she requested this huge, Wendy-sized cake.

It was perfection made cake. Vanilla with strawberry filling, covered in white chocolate frosting, strawberries and raspberries, it was her favorite kind of cake but better. In simple words, it was everything she had dreamed for.

She wanted to _marry_ that cake. Have its babies (its cupcakes, as any knowing chef would say) and then eat them too.

So happy, no, in _rapture_ of the cake's sight, Erza was unaware of the evil smile that appeared in Mirajane's angelic face.

Erza waited for her cake, nervous, so excited she hadn't been able to eat in all day.

She was starving.

Not even her favorite song (cake by the ocean, of course) playing in a loop had been able to distract her.

It was the night before her birthday, and she was alone at her room in Fairy Hills, for two reasons: she didn't wanted to be judged (even Erza admits buying a humongous cake wasn't one of her brightest moves, though it is cause you can never have enough cake) and, most important, she didn´t wanted to share.

That cake is hers, goddammit.

So she waited, and waited, and waited.

And just when she was about to go to the pastry shop and _make_ them give her cake, there was a knock in her door.

Her heart literally skipped a beat.

\- Finally!

Erza opened the door with such strength that it smashed into the wall and made a _crack!_

Standing in front of her were two delivery guys, who looked suspiciously like Natsu and Gray with fake mustaches, carrying a huge box with obvious effort.

\- Good evening, ma'am – said the dark haired one – we come to deliver your… ejem, special request.

The pink haired one began making sounds that seemed like muffled laughs- slash-coughs.

\- Yeah, very special!

This Erza ignored – Gimme that! – she demanded, shoving a handful of money to their faces and trying to take the box.

\- You need help with… ?

Smash!

The delivery guy words were cut with the door closing in their faces.

Both guys looked at each other for a moment before erupting in hysterical laughs and run away.

Inside of her room, Erza left the box in the floor with utmost care, as if it was her newborn. Slowly removing the lift off the box, she looked in slow motion how the love of her life was uncovered in front of her.

She gasped, her breath leaving her.

With shaking hands, she tasted some of the frosting.

Erza felt then what was a comparable with an orgasm in her mouth.

Her pulse accelerated, her pupils became dilated, and for a moment she could swear she felt her soul leave her body.

_It was perfect._

Erza fell in love.

Wanting to try it all, she grabbed a sword made with the sole purpose of cutting cake (everyone in the guild had laughed at her for it, who's laughing now, bitches?!) and, slowly, savoring each second, Erza begun to cut a slice, the first of the night, and…

\- Huh?

… She met resistance.

Erza blinked.

Maybe it was the wrong angle. This was a special cake, after all.

Decided, Erza circled the cake and tried to cut it again… only to find the same mysterious barrier. She tried from all sides, pushing with her monstrous strength, and yet nothing had happened.

-Oh?

A dark, evil aura covered her.

\- _Oh?_

Invoking her sharpest, stronger sword, she violently attacked the cake, cutting through the barrier and slicing the cake in half. For a moment nothing happened, and then the cake splitted in half, falling to the ground.

Erza would have screamed, cried, maybe even hurdled herself to the cake in the floor to ask for forgiveness and maybe even eat it from the ground, cause 5 seconds rule and all, but she was stunned in her place.

_Paralyzed_.

Shock isn't enough to describe what Erza felt when, after cutting what she now saw it was some kind of acrylic box, Jellal Fernandez fell in front of her, falling on his face and with the butt in the air.

His very naked butt in the air.

A moment passed, none of them moving an inch.

Jellal probably because he had fainted without oxygen. Erza just because her mind had just broken.

\- Je-Je-Jellal? – she tried, her voice more like Lucy's than her own.

No response.

Suddenly Erza realized that Jellal was naked, and all of her blood left her body, only to return to her face in a second, turning her in the same color of her hair.

The last thing she knew was that she listened an ear shattering scream –her own– and everything turned pitch black.

Mirajane was drying some glasses, humming a song (cake by the ocean, cause it was so fitting) when a scream resounded in the entire guild.

Everyone paused what they were doing and begun looking around.

Mirajane stopped, one glass in her hand – Ara, ara – she mumbled, her lips curving in her most evil-and-satisfied-about-it smile. Everyone in the bar took a step away, shuddering in fright.

Mirajane happily resumed her humming and drying.

\- Happy birthday, Erza!

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Reviews?


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